Mothers and Fathers and In-Laws, Oh My!

Lots of brides find that their <insert family member here> becomes very opinionated during the wedding planning process and often wants to insert themselves into any and all decisions that you are making. Whether or not you care if there are Peonies in the centerpieces mommy dearest surely does. Whether or not you want the band to play the Chicken Dance your Father can't wait to shake his tail-feather to it!

Here is my advice. Give <insert family member here> an ENTIRE task to take care of. Let them own it. Give them full decision making power and freedom when it comes to that subject. Can't let go of all the details? Then make up a new 'side' task and give that to them.

Here are some examples:

- Is your mom breathing down your neck when it comes to nit-picking all the details? Give her EVERYTHING that happens pre-ceremony to decide. She can take care of the bagels, mimosas and coffee for your and your bridesmaids the morning of the wedding. She can decide where lunch is ordered in from and buy a big basket of snacks. She can even pick the place to get your nails done the day before! Should you get matching robes for all your bridesmaids? Let mom decide! 

- Is Dad all up in your grill when it comes to the types of alcohol behind your bar? Let him decide it all! If you want a specialty cocktail or a specific wine poured then make that clear... but otherwise give him full decision making ability when it comes to the liquor. Let him go crazy over which whiskey that Uncle Mark likes most. Let him decide how many kinds of beers to have and which brands to stock.

- Is your future mother-in-law trying to control all the seating arrangements? Perhaps she can give her opinion on who to sit your new Great Aunt Margaret with and you can give her something bigger to dedicate her time to. Such as the 'comforts' for later in the night! Want flip flops near the dance floor so the ladies can kick off their heals? Outdoor wedding call for a few blankets in the seating areas? Want to splurge on a hot cocoa or gourmet coffee bar? Let her decide all those details for you and start to find the best deals.

In the long and short of it... create a short list of items that you don't mind giving up the decision making power on. Maybe they are fluff items that (should they fail) wouldn't ruin your evening. Maybe they are items that are too stressful for you to even think about and you want to 'pass the buck' onto someone else. Either way - if you can give <insert family member here> an entire task that he/she can run with - they will busy themselves and feel like a contributing planner and are less likely to insert themselves into the other details that you feel strongly about.